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Ask Your Beadmeister
Cut me, do I not bleed hematine?
Q: It seems like you make a lot of jokes on your website. How do I know you'll be serious about my order and help me if I have a problem with it?
A. Good question. I belong to an organization called The Misanthropic Good Samaritans. We hate it but we are pathologically helpful. We drive around on weekends looking for people so stupid they've done something obvious that requires our help then we cheerfully pitch in. Fulfilled. It's also an addiction and a way to seek day fulfilling stress. Up here there is a popular with the hippies Ben & Jerry bumper sticker that reads, "If It's Not Fun - Why Do It?" MY bumper sticker would read, "If It's Not Stressful, Why Do It?"
Q: So, why South Pacific if you are in Vermont?
When I got to Boston from Hawaii on June 30, 1977, I had no name for my business. When in August I finally made my way into a Postal Instant Press and had some business cards made up describing what I was selling, i.e., South Pacific coral, heishi and shell jewelry with my name as the business name, the printer laid out the card like this:
Q: I want to use Paypal but I can't figure out how that works in your checkout procedure.
A. After we fill, price, check your order we will email you a bill through Paypal and you will pay from that. Wait, be patient. And so you get your order faster Paypal only for orders to Africa and behind the Iron Curtain.
Q: I'd like to make a trip to see you. Are you far away? What's Vermont like? I've always romanticized Vemont. Anything special I should know?
A. Yes. You won't be one of us until your family has been here 200 years or four generations. Unless you are French Canadian. If so, you get Grand Pered. Your grandfather moved here when the granite quarries went on strike in the 20's. Maple syrup? The casual Vermonter can identify at least four grades. In the spring we say things like, "Bet the sap's runnin' today." We speak our own language when you aren't around. Like the Cajuns in Looziana. It's Verbonics. Don't even try to understand. It's all in the pauses. I once exposed a girlfriend from out of state to it and her first words when we were alone were, "I hate you."
Q: Jessie Mae of Groton writes, "Why did UPS charge so much to ship my package to me? I'm only 30 miles away."
A. UPS charges more for a package to Groton than to Miami. Would you have me deliver it personally?
Q: I can't seem to get my beads organized no matter what I do. Is there some tool or device to help me get organized?
A. Time. Prayer.
Q: How have you survived the great recession when on the face of it, a bead company should be the first to go, especially you? Who needs beads?
A: What a great question. This is my fifth recession in this business. I am battle hardened though not hardened. Rather than running from it I've sought stress all my life, it's a lifestyle choice, since I was three. I graduated in the top 85% of my class. I shave without a mirror. I have triceps. As long as there are beads, I am immortal.
Q: I met someone special today and want to know what the "official" stone/gift is for the first day of a relationship.
A. Obvious. When you've met "The One" and want to celebrate your first day with gift giving the "official" stone/gift is Iron Pyrite. FeS2.
Q: Can anyone purchase from South Pacific at wholesale prices?
A. Our prices are sort of wholesale prices (yes, sort of) and are available to everyone, albeit, you'll enjoy the price breaks you'll get for ordering more items. With the internet, China and now the recession, who knows what is retail or wholesale any more?
Q: Do you require a business license to purchase wholesale?
A. No. Just go ahead and select your merchandise and place your order. If we are shipping to Vermont or you visit our showroom we will charge you sales tax if you (and we) don't have your tax number.
Q. Will I get the same prices at your showroom as I do on your website?
A. Yes and no. Our regular wholesale prices are the same here in Montpelier and on our website. However, some sales offers are good over the internet only. You are welcome to visit us and take advantage of poor Willis with your long honed bargaining skills.
Q: What is your minimum order?
A. No minimum order but we add a $5 handling charge for orders under $15.
Q: What is the average time to process an
order once you receive it?
A. Average time is a day and a half. That's working days, not Saturdays and Sundays. It is in my self interest to get your order out quickly so I can get your money and add to my pile of beads.
Q: Is it catching?
A. Is what catching? Oh, yes, Capitalism, yes, stand back. It is catching. My son's nickname from the sixth grade on was Captain Capitalism. You too can defeat the forces of poverty.
Q: How do you ship my order?
A. About 60% of our orders go out Postal and the rest UPS. We can pack a lot of beads into a Postal Flat Rate Box. It's a great deal to Hawaii. I'd use the Postal Service to the west coast. For us, the west coast starts on the other side of Iowa. If you select "cheapest" we'll choose.
Q: Do you ship outside of the United States?
A. Yes, via the Post Office. We won't ship to countries we feel uneasy about or can't insure our packages to. Can you spell Nigeerier? (That's how Jerry Remy pronounces it.) Are you from Kenya? We'll have your order ready when you stop by.
Q: What methods of payment to you accept?
A. We accept MC, Visa, American Express, Discover, and Paypal. Also cash and checks if you are actually here visiting us. Thoughtful barter - do you have fluorescent rocks?
Q: Do you offer open accounts or COD orders?
A. No. I've gotten too old to hunt "them" down. "They" have ruined it for everyone.
Q: You've been successful for so long. What is your secret? Do you have someone watching over you?
A. Yes, my patron saint is St. Clare of Assisi, the patron saint of television. She brings me live sports and nature shows so I can work an extra 3 - 8 hours a night and every weekend.
Q: Why don't my beads look just like the picture?
A.Stones are made by Mother Nature. She appreciates diversity. The colors and amounts of inclusions in natural stones vary considerably. Yellow turquoise is sometimes mostly yellow, sometimes mostly black, probably serpentine. Lapis may be dark or light. And the color of some stones, like rose quartz, fades over time when exposed to light. Etc., etc., etc. Find out more about Mother Nature at www.thorntonburgess.org.
Click on the link below to see examples of how much some natural stones can vary.
STONE ILLUSTRATIONS
Q. Is it dyed?
A. Of course, silly!!! Sometimes it's obvious but we don't always know. If we think it is we'll tell you, but we don't always get it right. You can type "dye" or "dyed" into the search box and it will bring up a list of items we think are dyed.
Q: How big is a millimeter?
A: You mean, "How small is a millimeter?" A millimeter is very, very small. You need more than three of them to make an eighth of an inch. A pea is about 6mm. See our Millimeter, Inch, Gauge chart for specifics.
Q: Does size matter?
A. Yes! Beads smaller than 4mm are usually more expensive than 4mm or even 5mm beads because you are paying for the labor, not the material. There are many more 2mm beads than 4mm on a strand. I estimate twice as many.
Q: Is your new site still a Michael Stipe-free zone and is your work place still a Michael Stipe-free workplace?
A.Yes and yes and yes and yes. Other than this you will find no references to Michael Stipe on my website and we are still a Michael Stipe - free work place. It's an OSHA thing I think. Or should be.
Q: Speaking of which, what is the official South Pacific song?
A. Obvious, Herman's Hermits version of Wonderful World.
Q. Then you must have a company poem?
A. Dylan Thomas', "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night".
It used to be Frost's beautiful but wimpy"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" but since the recession hit that one seems like an invitation to the Barbarians to just come in the gate any time it suits them.
Q: Is there a danger that I may become an addict?
A. I've been working with beads every day for over 33 years including weekends and holidays without a vacation and I'm not addicted. You may not be as strong.
Funny story: I was abused in the basement of a church when I was three and passed it on as an adult. My Mom sent me to nursery school and on day one they made us string macaroni necklaces at a picnic table and when I got home I declared to my mother I wasn't going back to that place because men don't make necklaces and she couldn't make me. I was an easy three year old to get along with if you didn't cross me.
Q: How do I learn more about Vermont?
A. Watch the latest rap about us. Who said white people don't have rhythm and soul? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL7uW4TYqbs
Q. What are the state stone and gem of Massachusetts?
A.Rhodonite is the state gem and Roxbury Pudding Stone is the state rock. And of course babingtonite is the state mineral. Too weird not to pass that along.
Q. So, what about Vermont?
A.Grossular garnet is our state gem and marble, granite and slate are our state rocks. Talc is our minreal.
Q. Are you a green business?
A. No, I am a registered member and supporter of ihatecilantro.com. And I do.
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F.A.Q's
